ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize