i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize