she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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