The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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