i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
