Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
