Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
the raccoons are back...
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