I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My balls are so social today.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
