hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
