I can text with my tongue
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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