Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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