I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
