never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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