she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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