he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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