There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
