My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think your dad took our porno
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
