What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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