why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
