do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize