Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
