he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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