U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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