Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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