All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone shattered a urinal.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
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ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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