Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
