He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
