I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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