Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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