I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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