He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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