did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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