it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
