Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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