peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
