I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
