hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
vagina is talking i cant
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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