Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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