this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
