every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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