totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
