I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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