I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
