I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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