I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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