My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
