if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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