Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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