the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
