i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
