Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
