I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
