Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
