also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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